Have you ever met someone who just has a “glow” about them? I mean the kind of glow that illuminates when someone is truly happy. In fact, they are so happy in life that they have this energy about them that makes you want to talk to them and tell them your whole life story. Or even just connect with them, in some way, because you want a piece of what they have.
What is their secret?
As Yogi’s, we are fortunate enough to have guidelines set out for us to help cultivate our own secret sauce for happiness. Around 400 CE, a wise man by the name of Patanjali outlined guidelines for living a more mindful life, properly referred to as the Yama’s and Niyama’s.
The Yama’s and Niyama’s are part of the 8-Limbed path and, when combined, go deeper into the practices of yoga. You better bet your bottom dollar we will get into all of that someday soon. But today, in part one of your “Introduction to a Happier You”, we are scratching the surface of what it means to live with moral restraints towards people in our lives, the Yama’s.
The results? With consistent practice, you will be the happy person people gravitate towards and they will want to know your secret.
If this sounds like your jam, keep reading.
The Yama’s
There are 5 Yama’s that guide us to how we treat others in our lives. You’ll find they are closely connected to one another. So, when practicing one Yama, you more than likely are embracing another.
Ahimsa (Non-Violence)
It goes without saying that being nice to people is generally a good thing to do. So, let’s turn non-violence around to be acting from a place of love.
Acting with love towards others with your physical actions, your words, and thoughts elevate your “why” or your motivation behind all the actions you do in life. But it can be hard sometimes.
For example, what happens when someone cuts you off in traffic? You may yell or give a hand gesture. Don’t worry, you’re not alone here, we’ve all done it. But take the time to consider why they may have cut you off. Perhaps they have an emergency with a kid at home or some other reason we have no idea about. Instead of listing off every curse word in your car, act from a place of love and consider why they may have done what they did. And I bet that incident will stop bothering you and save you stress and anger.
The same principle applies to showing love to yourself. How are your actions, words, and thoughts directed at yourself? This includes the thoughts you tell yourself and how you treat your body. Can you practice a bit more love in your daily life? Go to yoga or some other physical workout, give yourself a compliment, practice self-care in general. It will reflect out in a positive way for others to see.
Satya (Truthfulness)
Liar, liar, pants on fire. Though we learned at a young age not to lie, life presents opportunities to engage in non-truthful situations. I’m talking about things like gossiping, or speaking one thing and then doing another.
Think back to that happy person you know. Do you ever see them talking smack about someone? And if you had to guess, do you think they talk negatively about themselves? And still get that “glow” about them? I don’t think so.
Negative thoughts, words, and actions only create more negativity.
So before speaking, or doing, ask yourself if it is truly necessary and is it actually real what you are about to put out into the world. In doing so, this action will begin to crossover to your own actions and words to yourself.
Is it necessary or truthful that you tell yourself that you’re not enough or you can’t do something? Of course, it’s not.
You do you. Keep it real.
Asteya (Non-Stealing)
Another lesson we learn at a young age, do not steal. But if we take a closer look at why someone may want something another has, it very well might be because they have a fear that they are lacking, or that they may lose an abundance of something in their life.
Beyond just the physical possession of material things, time, words, and ideas are examples of what many people steal from one another. Showing up late to dinner is stealing someone’s time. Taking someone’s ideas in a meeting at work, spinning it as your own, and then taking credit for that idea, is an act of stealing.
Have the trust that what you have is enough and give out to others. Remember how good it feels to give something special to someone? Give out abundance and I bet you get something back.
Brahmacharya (Moderation)
Traditionally speaking, Patanjali refers to this Yama as sexual moderation. And to put this cut and dry, refrain from using sex to gain power over someone else.
But let’s use the word moderation in other areas of life. Use Satya (truthfulness) to understand how much you truly need. Do you really need 5 designer handbags? Do you really need to have chocolate after every meal? For the record, sometimes I do need chocolate after a meal. I’m just being honest.
Please note, there is nothing wrong with having nice things, but take a moment to understand your “why” when purchasing such things.
But like the old saying goes, “Everything in moderation.” How much do you really need? Be honest.
Aparigraha (Non-Hoarding)
Imagine a 4-year-old in the toy aisle at Target. They have their eye on another Lego set, even though they already have the world’s supply of Lego’s at home. They beg and plead with their mom to get one more because they just have to have it. Well, this mama knows that even if the kid gets more Lego’s that day, the next week they will be back in the same situation because they just need to have more in order to satisfy their lust for Lego’s.
Rinse and repeat.
Sound familiar? Have you ever wanted a pair of shoes so badly that you did everything in your power to get them? And then once you had them, you noticed another pair that you just had to have.
See where I’m going with this? The more “stuff” you collect will not make you happier. In fact, it will do just the opposite and actually create more unhappiness because you are relying on something outside of yourself to be happy. There will always be more “stuff” to buy. If you are continually chasing a level of status through material possession, will you ever be satisfied?
Sometimes when we see others with something desirable, we compare ourselves to them and then we want what they have. But remember your practice in truthfulness and moderation? What do you truly need to be happy?
Be honest.
Live a bit lighter and you will let go of a lot of baggage.
To Live the Yama’s:
- Act from a place of love.
- Be truthful.
- Trust that what you have is enough.
- Everything in moderation.
- Live light.
This is truly only scratching the surface of the Yama’s. But I challenge you to take this introduction and see how you can infuse it into your life. Start with just one for a few days, a week, or heck a year. Remember that when practicing one Yama, you more than likely are also practicing another.
Happiness starts with you and expands outward to those in your lives. Get the happy glow that you know I’m talking about, and please share the secret with others.
Let it be contagious.
Look for part two of your introduction to living a happier you where we dive into the moral observations toward ourselves, the Niyama’s.
